I'll decide whether I'll allow comments when I finish this entry.
I had a rather unpleasant passenger on my ferry yesterday. She spent the entire 5 minute trip randomly belittling my masculinity, and when I say entire, I mean *entire*. Gathering fares took thirty seconds (there were only three or four passengers), and after having asked her how her day was going (I always pick a passenger at random) she proceeded to comment on how I had a "babyface", how I looked "15 or 16" and how "it must be tough for [me] to find women, seeing as how most go for butch, manly men". Those were her exact words. I barely got a word in edgewise. When I had docked the boat, as she got off she put a hand on my shoulder and said "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find a nice girl when you're older". In front of a dockfull of passengers, not to mention one of my colleagues. Oh, and for those not in the know, False Creek Ferries, as a workplace, is more disgustingly macho in it's mentality than a college football locker room.
Generally the comments of rude passengers just roll right off of me; I chalk them up to being either ignorant, American, or some combination of the two. But this... Well, it got to me. It was rude, and it was condescending. Even if she was trying to be nice, it wasn't. Would you go up to a drive-thru, order fries and a shake and then tell the cashier girl that you thought she was ugly so as to console her? There are some plenty unappealling people out there, and I suppose it simply takes a patently honest individual to call them on it. Lord knows, I sure did need that kind of spontanious, honest appraisal of my masculinity and attractiveness to the female gender.
Fuck that.
Aren't these supposed to be the best years of my life? Great. A year spent mindlessly struggling for an improbable future as a musician with no real hope of ever achieving any real artistic accomplishment. A year spent making small change so that other assholes can line their pockets and buy their toys. A year spent watching the men I should be laugh away what cares they may have with their companions.
What defines a man? A full beard twelve hours after having ritually castrated your face with a razor? Bulging muscles? Confidence un-earned? Supposedly confidence plays a big role. Yeah, well screw that. Beauty a big thing for guys, but you don't see a whole lot of guys going around slashing random women's faces, now do you? Why then, do women go around belittling men? *shrugs* Or maybe it's just me.
I'm tired of the hypocrisy, the arrogance and the self-granted immunity of the female gender.
I had a rather unpleasant passenger on my ferry yesterday. She spent the entire 5 minute trip randomly belittling my masculinity, and when I say entire, I mean *entire*. Gathering fares took thirty seconds (there were only three or four passengers), and after having asked her how her day was going (I always pick a passenger at random) she proceeded to comment on how I had a "babyface", how I looked "15 or 16" and how "it must be tough for [me] to find women, seeing as how most go for butch, manly men". Those were her exact words. I barely got a word in edgewise. When I had docked the boat, as she got off she put a hand on my shoulder and said "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find a nice girl when you're older". In front of a dockfull of passengers, not to mention one of my colleagues. Oh, and for those not in the know, False Creek Ferries, as a workplace, is more disgustingly macho in it's mentality than a college football locker room.
Generally the comments of rude passengers just roll right off of me; I chalk them up to being either ignorant, American, or some combination of the two. But this... Well, it got to me. It was rude, and it was condescending. Even if she was trying to be nice, it wasn't. Would you go up to a drive-thru, order fries and a shake and then tell the cashier girl that you thought she was ugly so as to console her? There are some plenty unappealling people out there, and I suppose it simply takes a patently honest individual to call them on it. Lord knows, I sure did need that kind of spontanious, honest appraisal of my masculinity and attractiveness to the female gender.
Fuck that.
Aren't these supposed to be the best years of my life? Great. A year spent mindlessly struggling for an improbable future as a musician with no real hope of ever achieving any real artistic accomplishment. A year spent making small change so that other assholes can line their pockets and buy their toys. A year spent watching the men I should be laugh away what cares they may have with their companions.
What defines a man? A full beard twelve hours after having ritually castrated your face with a razor? Bulging muscles? Confidence un-earned? Supposedly confidence plays a big role. Yeah, well screw that. Beauty a big thing for guys, but you don't see a whole lot of guys going around slashing random women's faces, now do you? Why then, do women go around belittling men? *shrugs* Or maybe it's just me.
I'm tired of the hypocrisy, the arrogance and the self-granted immunity of the female gender.
posted by Kahloke | 9:52 PM
6 Comments:
I'm ignoring the real issue here to comment on this, 'Aren't these supposed to be the best years of my life? Great.'
Eeeexactly. See, now?
You are entirely appealing, my friend, as was proved when you set foot in our town.
And if you dislike us lady-folk so much, there always is another option...
as I am both female and American, I chose to ignore the sexist ethnic tone to the post. Having combed out all comments dealing with either issue, I was left with an angry blank space.
I understand the "joys" of working in customer service, with older unattractive females as a clientele base. Sure, its frusterating, demeaning, and unsatisfying, but for someone of your talent it will be temporary.
However, your closing commentary was both hyprocritical and arrogant. Men go around judging women on the basis of their looks all the time. Why are there so many women with eating disorders? Or who stay in abusive relationships?
I completely agree that the bag was out of hand. But perhaps the definition of masculinity is wisedom discernment of what true value is, regardless of nationality, gender, or physical appearence.
Cora: Firstly, I want to apologize for offending you. The 'American' comment was meant more in jest than anything else (you know how I tend to find the line, then take three big steps over it when it comes to taste). Nevertheless, it offended, and I am therefore sorry.
You were right in that this was an angry post. Anger leads to rash action sometimes, and I would agree with you to a degree that I could've chosen my words more carefully. However, I don't believe my points are inherently sexist.
For your consideration: Every 'minority group' (Christians, Jews, Muslims, Asians, Homosexuals, Children, Women etc.) in our society today has an organized form of self-advocacy, save for one. You guessed it, men. Yes, women are discriminated against by men, but no more so than men are by women. No gender holds a monopoly on eating disorders that stem from unrealistic portrayals of the 'ideal body'. No gender is completely dominant when it comes to being abused by a spouse.
My closing statement of "I'm tired of the hypocrisy, the arrogance and the self-granted immunity of the female gender." was poorly phrased, and *was* sexist, though it's intent was not. I apologize for it.
I apologize for my phrasing, and my generalizations, however I won't apologize for my frustration at society's inherently skewed view of sexism in our world today. It goes *both* ways.
We're equal, not better, not worse. Equal.
Llowyn: I completely agree that men are also discriminated against, and that women do not hold the monoply on the ideal-body-image hypocrisy. Equality is good.
I want cookies.
hummm... I hate mean people.
Once a person who was serving ME in a bakery told me I "shouldn't eat that if I wanted to grow up pretty and thin like my mother". Talk about bad service.
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