Life's Tease
It had been over a year since I'd met anyone new whom I felt attracted to. It had been over a year since I met Isabelle, since I met Grace. I only met Rachel through Neale in mid March last year, and well... she's Rachel.
It has been a very long year. It has been a year without love, without tenderness, and without companionship. I genuinely don't remember how it feels, to be with someone. Perhaps it was me, all this time. I don't know exactly how, or why, but maybe I'd changed. Grown distant, cold. Or maybe I hadn't, maybe that's it. Stuck at seventeen, with my heart on my sleeve and my thoughts booming out loud. Maybe it wasn't me at all, maybe it's been circumstance fucking with me.
And then, for the first time in a long while, I felt again. In the company of a total stranger, a girl four years my elder, I felt. I was attracted to her. At first, I wasn't really sure whether or not I was feeling something, or whether I was simply playing along, going for the ride, as it were. But as we talked and walked until the crack of dawn, more and more that strange stirring welled within me. I liked this girl. I found her interesting, I wanted to get to know her. Find. Want.
We parted on great terms. She texted me not long afterwards. And then, nothing. My phone, silent.
It's been three days since my year was broken, and now I find myself facing the prospect that this was all just an anomaly, and that my sentiments, newly dusted off, will go back into storage, waiting for another year.
It's not fair.
It has been a very long year. It has been a year without love, without tenderness, and without companionship. I genuinely don't remember how it feels, to be with someone. Perhaps it was me, all this time. I don't know exactly how, or why, but maybe I'd changed. Grown distant, cold. Or maybe I hadn't, maybe that's it. Stuck at seventeen, with my heart on my sleeve and my thoughts booming out loud. Maybe it wasn't me at all, maybe it's been circumstance fucking with me.
And then, for the first time in a long while, I felt again. In the company of a total stranger, a girl four years my elder, I felt. I was attracted to her. At first, I wasn't really sure whether or not I was feeling something, or whether I was simply playing along, going for the ride, as it were. But as we talked and walked until the crack of dawn, more and more that strange stirring welled within me. I liked this girl. I found her interesting, I wanted to get to know her. Find. Want.
We parted on great terms. She texted me not long afterwards. And then, nothing. My phone, silent.
It's been three days since my year was broken, and now I find myself facing the prospect that this was all just an anomaly, and that my sentiments, newly dusted off, will go back into storage, waiting for another year.
It's not fair.
posted by Kahloke | 10:49 PM
8 Comments:
text her back, dimbulb!
Silly pinto, he probably texted her back and THEN heard nothing.
There's nothing stopping you from giving her a call and seeing if she'd like to go out for some tea, Llowyn. Take charge, you deserve it!
I've already tried, Barbara :) Oh, and dimbulb is my new favourite insult of the week, O short one.
*shrugs* Life, she goes on.
Llowyn, too lazy to sign in
Then I say you... smile! Because truly, what else can you do? And because smiling makes you feel happy. *sends hugs and love*
It wasn't an anomaly, you're going to be great and happy. If not with this girl, then with someone else.
The school of music is insular and evil, but you can beat it. :)
Llowyn, I feel similar to you, lately. You know you have
problems when you can't stop listening to a song about breakups, because it's got pretty chord structure and reminds you on cuddling during the summer. :(
Why do I have the feeling that this is outdated? You should update again!
It's been over a year, dude! Update!!!
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